Friday, April 27, 2012

Today.


A year ago things were a lot different. A year ago I never would have thought I would have a “favorite” children’s TV show or humming the theme song to “dinosaur train” while I am trying to study for nursing finals. A year ago, I had no idea where I would be today. This past semester has gone by in the blink of an eye. Seriously, I knew I was living just to get through each day, one at a time, but I feel like I blinked and a year has come and gone! Where does the time go? Who would have thought in one single year I would have moved back home, transferred to University of Memphis, added 3 new members to the family that have captured my heart (and spare moments), started nursing school (which I was not mentally prepared to do until junior year), seen relationships rekindled and burn out, had the honor to watch my sister finish her last year in high school,  traveled to Haiti and have a plan in the works to spend 2 months in the Philippines this summer. I love how God works even when I am not asking for it or even wanting it. Let’s face it, I like things to be normal. I like to have my choice whether to be spontaneous or just plain ole’ boring; it’s my comfort zone. But in the past year, God has completely stripped me of all of those privileges..well, almost. I have had NO social life this semester, I mean seriously it’s pretty bad..no choice but to be super boring. He completely flipped my world over with 3 little babies which gave me no choice but to embrace change--oh, and He brought me back home. Can you say adjustment?! And, He laid missions on my heart which pretty much calls for spontaneity whether you are feeling up to it or not. God is teaching me to see him in every single thing that happens, good or bad, and to rely on him for the not so fun and the breakdown-every-5-seconds kind of days. I have learned this semester and this year that I need to make HIM the priority. Decisions that honor HIM, time with HIM and conversations/relationships that are directed and focused on HIM! 
El Shaddai- The Lord God Almighty; it brings me to tears to know that this almighty Lord love me. ME! Undeserved love doesn’t even being to cover it. 
So, on a day when a whole entire year seems to be coming to a head and I feel it all coming down it one big emotional mess, I have peace knowing that El Shaddai has it all under control. It’s all going to be okay. Thank you Lord for your unconditional love, peace, strength and provision. Deeply broken and surrendering, I cry out to you and fall on my face in your all consuming presence. 
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